Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.
me: i have depression
person: *suddenly becomes mental health expert, nutritionist, spiritual guide* why dont u try yoga why dont u eat lots of fruit maybe u should exercise have u tried keeping a journal have u tried yoga have u tried meditation have u tried sitting in the sun have u tried patting a dog have u tried exercise yoga in the fruit sun yoga yoga
I’ve decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.
My anaconda will consider it
Put a letter from A-Z in my ask and I’ll tell you 1 thing I love which starts with that letter.
THIS IS CUTE PLEASE
do this pls
omg yes please
oh my goodness, please?
please do this ill love you
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card
I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.